So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
