I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
