did you get engaged???
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
