school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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