I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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