No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
