i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
