Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
