Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
