lets start a swedish sibling band together
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
