does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
