Buhtt sex?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
