What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
