i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
