I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He shit in the fireplace
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
