This girl is more easily done than said...
i barfeds in our rink
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
