and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
