i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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