I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
