very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
a search helicopter?!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
