I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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