im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We have so much sex to catch up on
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
