I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
