Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
