thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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