Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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