before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
