They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
40s are totally the cure
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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