end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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