Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
