bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
