MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
