It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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