Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
