i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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