This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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