mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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