He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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