She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
