The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
