i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
