the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Randomize
