We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
