I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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