I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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