Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
