ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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