HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
