is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
How external is "for external use only"?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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