hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
