Me too!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
