YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
