So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
