i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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